I Wore Heels Today!

For the first time in over a year and a half I wore heels. And I suspect I was the farthest thing from sexy. I felt so awkward! Before leaving for church I took off my heels, put on flats,  and then put my heels back on. Twice. And just to be safe, during church, I carried around a pair of flats in my purse. I'm very proud to say I did not chicken out and switch to flats. But I am also not so proud to say my high heel strut needs work. As I walked around the building, in search of tissues, I almost tripped myself. Walking in heels is nothing like riding a bike...you eventually forget how to walk.

The awkwardness didn't end there either. The whole day was full of funny and slightly embarrassing moments. During Sunday school I was asked if I could conduct the music.  I told the bishopric member, who was asking me, that I knew how to conduct 4/4 music. That’s it. He says “well, its Sweet Hour of Prayer…that’s an easy song..” Totally NOT an easy song! It is 6/8. I couldn’t remember how to conduct in 6/8 nor did I have time to look it up in the back of the hymn book. So, I stood up there and made faces and waved my hand around, kind of doing a 4/4 pattern. I say kind of because I didn't want to make it to obvious I was conducting to the wrong count. The sister missionaries got a kick out of and I think a few other people in the congregation did too. Luckily, most people don’t actually look at the conductor so I'm going so assume that the majority of those sitting in front of me did not notice. My dad, however, did notice and realized that I didn’t know what I was doing so he tried to help...only, when he waved his hand down it would disappeared behind the pew(seats) in front of him, I couldn't see it, so I didn’t know what he was doing down there! Which way was he waving his hand?? And more importantly, which way am i suppose to wave mine??? And then, my dear brother, who can’t be out done, decides to start showing me how to conduct as well. What ever he was doing was NOT the same as what my dad was doing. I became even more confused, made a few more faces and then finally the song was over. I quickly returned to my seat, glad my moments in the spotlight were over.
The funny thing is though, as I sat in my seat, relieved to be down there and not on stage, I realized that I wasn’t the least bit embarrassed. I felt bad that I had probably been a bit of a distraction, but, I wasn’t embarrassed in the slightest. In fact, I really loved my public display of being human.

To end my day of embarrassment at church, halfway through Sunday school I started getting really hot. Like, Really hot. I've been sick, so I am going to attribute it to that. Usually, when you become really hot you start to sweat and that is exactly what I did. Pretty soon I had sweaty pits and my light blue shirt did everything but hide them. Great. It was during this moment that I realized a new use for my long hair. I casually parted it into two and then pulled each section in front of my shoulders. It was just long enough to hide my pits. And I don't think anyone saw how sweaty I really was. I call my new style the hide a pit split.

So that was kind of gross. And my whole day was a series of awkward moments. Why then, am I writing this to be sent out into the world of cyber space? Why am I risking embarrassment for years to come? What in the world am I thinking??? Well, I'll tell you what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that no one is perfect. I'm thinking that is time we start celebrating our imperfectness and just enjoy being human. I like to pretend I have it all together,  I think we all do. But the truth is some days we don't have it all together and today was one of those days for me. And you know what?  I am perfectly ok with that. In fact,  I really liked it. I had a really good day. The fact that I can no longer walk in heels or conduct music correctly and sometimes sweat way to much makes me me. Honestly, I think "me" is actually more made up of awkward and slightly embarrassing moments than 'I've got it together' moments. And I love it.