I Wore Heels Today!

For the first time in over a year and a half I wore heels. And I suspect I was the farthest thing from sexy. I felt so awkward! Before leaving for church I took off my heels, put on flats,  and then put my heels back on. Twice. And just to be safe, during church, I carried around a pair of flats in my purse. I'm very proud to say I did not chicken out and switch to flats. But I am also not so proud to say my high heel strut needs work. As I walked around the building, in search of tissues, I almost tripped myself. Walking in heels is nothing like riding a bike...you eventually forget how to walk.

The awkwardness didn't end there either. The whole day was full of funny and slightly embarrassing moments. During Sunday school I was asked if I could conduct the music.  I told the bishopric member, who was asking me, that I knew how to conduct 4/4 music. That’s it. He says “well, its Sweet Hour of Prayer…that’s an easy song..” Totally NOT an easy song! It is 6/8. I couldn’t remember how to conduct in 6/8 nor did I have time to look it up in the back of the hymn book. So, I stood up there and made faces and waved my hand around, kind of doing a 4/4 pattern. I say kind of because I didn't want to make it to obvious I was conducting to the wrong count. The sister missionaries got a kick out of and I think a few other people in the congregation did too. Luckily, most people don’t actually look at the conductor so I'm going so assume that the majority of those sitting in front of me did not notice. My dad, however, did notice and realized that I didn’t know what I was doing so he tried to help...only, when he waved his hand down it would disappeared behind the pew(seats) in front of him, I couldn't see it, so I didn’t know what he was doing down there! Which way was he waving his hand?? And more importantly, which way am i suppose to wave mine??? And then, my dear brother, who can’t be out done, decides to start showing me how to conduct as well. What ever he was doing was NOT the same as what my dad was doing. I became even more confused, made a few more faces and then finally the song was over. I quickly returned to my seat, glad my moments in the spotlight were over.
The funny thing is though, as I sat in my seat, relieved to be down there and not on stage, I realized that I wasn’t the least bit embarrassed. I felt bad that I had probably been a bit of a distraction, but, I wasn’t embarrassed in the slightest. In fact, I really loved my public display of being human.

To end my day of embarrassment at church, halfway through Sunday school I started getting really hot. Like, Really hot. I've been sick, so I am going to attribute it to that. Usually, when you become really hot you start to sweat and that is exactly what I did. Pretty soon I had sweaty pits and my light blue shirt did everything but hide them. Great. It was during this moment that I realized a new use for my long hair. I casually parted it into two and then pulled each section in front of my shoulders. It was just long enough to hide my pits. And I don't think anyone saw how sweaty I really was. I call my new style the hide a pit split.

So that was kind of gross. And my whole day was a series of awkward moments. Why then, am I writing this to be sent out into the world of cyber space? Why am I risking embarrassment for years to come? What in the world am I thinking??? Well, I'll tell you what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that no one is perfect. I'm thinking that is time we start celebrating our imperfectness and just enjoy being human. I like to pretend I have it all together,  I think we all do. But the truth is some days we don't have it all together and today was one of those days for me. And you know what?  I am perfectly ok with that. In fact,  I really liked it. I had a really good day. The fact that I can no longer walk in heels or conduct music correctly and sometimes sweat way to much makes me me. Honestly, I think "me" is actually more made up of awkward and slightly embarrassing moments than 'I've got it together' moments. And I love it.

This Stock Never Loses Value

(That means YOU!)

State-Side Shopping

Last week I decided I needed new Keds. Mine just weren’t as white as I’d like them to be. So, I went on-line, ready to order them and much to my dismay they were $45.00!! What?! I’ve been wearing Keds for almost 5 years now. They are my thing. And now, someone decided that they should be cool again and the price shoots up $10.00! Granted, the last time I bought a pair was a few years ago. Keds aren’t exactly sister missionary appropriate shoes. I checked a few sites and they all wanted $45.00 for Keds!! Nope, not paying that. Next I tried StrideRite (that’s where I would buy them in Florida) but they didn’t carry adult shoes. Well, I went to work puzzling over where I was going to get Keds that were NOT $45.00 and left still puzzling. I decided to go into the discount shoe store a few stores down from where I work, and they ended up having Keds! But, they didn’t have my size. Long story short, they did at another mall nearby, put them on hold for me to go pick up, and I went and picked them up.

The mall that they were at is bigger and fancier than the mall I work at. Naturally that makes it better then right? I was pretty excited to shop around. I hadn’t been in about a year and a half. Well, I must say I was a bit disappointed. I went into all my favorite stores, including the ones I usually can’t afford and was overwhelmingly unimpressed. Clothing is all the same in America. The only variation is how much skin the clothing doesn’t cover. I went into store, after store, after store and just felt like I was looking at all the same things. Over, and over, and over. The only variant was the pricing. Honestly, it was a buzz kill and my desire to shop quickly faded and then died somewhere between J. Crew and Forever21. I bought 3 things; a grey shirt from Forever21 and two pairs of Keds, one white and one blue( I’ve decided to try something new)  from The Shoe Dept.

While I was in Japan I think I saw the fashion change 3 times. Big changes. It was really cool to watch everyone change their clothes. But, what I liked even more than watching the style change, was watching how the Japanese incorporated the change in fashion, into their personal style, while still staying true to what that style was. They knew what they liked and that is what they stuck with. Each person had their own ‘thing’. It was great! Complimenting people on their outfits was my favorite thing to do. Their outfits rocked! And even when they didn’t rock, the wearer thought they did and that made them cool in their own way. Here, over in America we all wear the same thing. As I walked around the mall I noticed everyone was wearing the same thing. And I had missed the memo, and stuck out ridiculous amounts in my short-sleeve oxford, chino-like pants and Keds. I got quite a few looks. Why in the world was I wearing pants and a shirt with sleeves on it when, clearly, everyone is supposed to be wearing itty-bitty shorts and a shirt that reveals as much as possible? Oopps, Sorry guys. Shame on me.

Now, it’s not so much the clothes that bother me. Wear whatever you want. What bothered me was how clone/ drone- like everyone was. As I looked around, and caught snippets of conversations and nasty looks from one teenage girl to the next I felt like I was in a giant rat race. It’s all the same!  Everyone looked the same and dressed the same, all chasing the same 'golden' look and 'ideal' life that we have been led to believe will make us happy. But, as I looked around I didn’t sense happiness. I didn’t get the feeling that anyone was too content with themselves. They were still chasing after that unobtainable “key to happiness” that seems to forever dangle just out of our reach.

Why can’t we all just be happy being ourselves? And why can’t we be happy for others being themselves. Do you know how much confidence comes from that? It’s a great feeling. I was caught in the rat race for a long time. And, I’ll be honest, every now and then I find myself stuck in it again. But, there is SO much freedom that comes from being ourselves. We were created as individuals. We were created to be different. Ok, I’m trying to explain the secret to confidence and I’m leaving out the most important part. I believe in God, our Heavenly Father, and He loves us for exactly who we are. Which means, we should love exactly who we are too. When we do that, or start too, is when we start to become truly confident. So why, oh why, are we so set on being the same? Why do we compare ourselves to one another? We won’t ever compare or measure up because someone else is not who we are suppose to be. I miss being in Japan, where there were quite a few brave souls who dared to be different.  It’s scary, but, it is worth it. Dare to be different. 

Need I say more? 

Sunday Funday

Today I went to church. Then, I decided to take pictures of my outfit. Turns out..I'm not very good at that. I completely missed my head most times. And if I got my head...then my feet where no where to be seen. 

So...this is what you get instead. The funny thing is, I kind of like it. A lot, actually.

Today in church something that stuck out to me was gratitude, or the need for it. We are each so blessed and I don't think we even realize it sometimes. Yeah, our lives BUT there are so, so, so many things that we can find in each day that are good. And when we search for those good bits, no matter how small they are, we become a little bit happier, a little more sure of ourselves, a little more able to brighten someone else'd day

Get the look:

Linen shirt here and here

Similar necklace here

Similar skirt here and here

The shoes are from Old Navy

When I find similar pair you will know